Fighting for the silver chariot of the parking lot.
RSS icon Email icon Home icon
  • Oh Canada!

    Posted on March 9th, 2009 luke 1 comment

    pict3399The fight against shopping cart abuse is spreading through the bowels of the internet like a blessed flu. We recently discovered a blog dedicated to fighting shopping cart abuse in Toronto. When even the socialists are getting off their couches you know a cause has momentum! We have documented our own abuses in Toronto. We thank our comrades for taking up the cause – confronting abusers in the lots, the ravines, the rinks and any other type of location they have in Canada. To our brothers up north we says Long Live the Righteous/Je Me Souviens!

  • We Got You Covered, Baby

    Posted on March 8th, 2009 luke No comments

    51trjihbgl_sl500_aa280_Have an infant? Go grocery shopping? The fine folks at My Baby Shopping Cart Covers have what you need. Though we tend to think of shopping carts as the cradle of civilization, they are not necessarily the best cradle for you baby. These puffy inserts score a ten for utility and an eleven for bling. As you glide leisurely down the aisles you may spy other parents dosing their babies with Nyquil to stop the crying. You could not be more at peace. You’re on a zen walkabout with a grocery checklist and ten pounds of fabric stuffed into wire mesh. When you have reached the end of your journey the insert slides neatly from the cart, baby and all, ready to be tossed into your car.


  • Stop the Windy City Madness

    Posted on March 7th, 2009 luke No comments

    ChiditarodToday in Chicago the annual Chiditarod is taking place. This event invites teams of five people – four “dogs” tied to a tricked-out shopping cart and one “musher” running behind steering – to race through the city streets. The cover story is that this is a fun event that benefits charity. In truth it is nothing more than a Gen-X orchestrated shopping cart abuse fest.

    Next year The Center for Prevention of Shopping Cart Abuse will be organizing a rival event – Flannelitarod. Teams of former Chiditarod participants will be forced to read each others poetry and drink instant coffee. Then they’ll be sprayed down with hoses.

  • no one heard at all, not even the chair

    Posted on March 6th, 2009 luke No comments

    annie_main1The environmental consciousness bandwagon has a lot of steam, and now apparently furniture designers are clamoring to get on board. Supposedly eco-friendly, but truthfully eco-tarded, recycled shopping cart chairs are now fetching a pretty pence. The anglo-trash outfit Reestore is stocked with these items created by “designer” Max McMurdo. A more appropriate title for Max…how about mutilator? Or simply shopping cart abuser? The shopping cart serves as a vehicle for consumerism not as an object of one. Such irony sits with no comfort.

  • Shopping Carts by Evening Light

    Posted on March 5th, 2009 luke No comments

    The soft afternoon sun hits a pair of carts. Some see beauty in fruit-bearing trees. Some see beauty in child-bearing welfare mothers. But we should all see beauty in grocery-bearing shopping carts.

  • Shredding Me Softly

    Posted on March 3rd, 2009 luke No comments

    We have seen so many different horrific types of shopping cart abuse here at The Center we thought we might be becoming desensitized to it all. Then we saw the Shopping Cart vs. Shredder video. It is two minutes of sheer brutality. The video was made by SSI Shredding Systems, a company based, for all intents, in hell. Shopping carts are chewed up as easily as a Snickers bar in the hands of a fat kid.

    The video is not for the feint of heart. It is our duty to present it here.