Incident Report #421666EZQ
A Shopping Cart lies bent and rusted on a hilltop overlooking downtown Toronto.
DETAIL: There was a time when Shopping Cart abuse was as mythological to Canada as Baywatch. But as the technology to build highways and telephones has crept north of the American border, so too have illicit gambling, crack-whores and Shopping Cart abuse gangs. Not long ago, a Canadian teenager vented angst by playing hockey or chasing beavers. Today you’ll find that same teenager having a “smoke” after “kicking” a Shopping Cart. The rusted out hull of a Cart on a Canadian hillside serves as a beacon to all countries advanced enough to employ Shopping Carts, those who seek to undermine your society are not far behind.
PROFILE: Several newly formed Shopping Cart abuse gangs have claimed responsibility for this act. Mounties on the case have confirmed that about 3 of the dents on the cart were caused by a boot. No further details have been released.