Stop the Windy City Madness

Today in Chicago the annual Chiditarod is taking place. This event invites teams of five people – four “dogs” tied to a tricked-out shopping cart and one “musher” running behind steering – to race through the city streets. The cover story is that this is a fun event that benefits charity. In truth it is nothing more than a Gen-X orchestrated shopping cart abuse fest.

Next year The Center for Prevention of Shopping Cart Abuse will be organizing a rival event – Flannelitarod. Teams of former Chiditarod participants will be forced to read each others poetry and drink instant coffee. Then they’ll be sprayed down with hoses.