Shopping Carts, Swine Flu and You

A young child playfully licking a shopping cart handle.

What’s on your grocery list this week? Cereal? Bacon? Mr. Pibb? How about swine flu? Most shoppers don’t set out to participate in a pandemic. A few simple precautions can help keep your next trip to the grocery store happy, healthy and virus-free:

1. Do not clean or wipe down your shopping cart. This may sound counter-intuitive but the truth is shopping carts tend to retain only super germs. And by super we mean really good.
2. Encourage your children to lick shopping carts. It is a proven fact, children who lick shopping carts grow up to be more resistant to illness, more resistant to change, more resistant to not licking carts…in general just more resistant.
3. Load your cart with pork products. Firefighters know that the best method to fight a fire is to always start another one. You should know the best way to combat a pork virus is to fill your tummy with pig.
4. Shop in Mexico. Nobody knows more about swine flu than the people living with it. And if you want a good price on tortillas you can’t beat a good run south of the border.

Follow these few simple rules and instead of bringing home swine flu you will be bringing home the bacon!