Fighting for the silver chariot of the parking lot.
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  • Half Pipe

    half_pipeCurrent Rank: 5

    Timmy Jenkins used to stand out in skateboarder competitions as the kind of kid who nailed down tricks with backside lips on the flat bar and buttery frontslide flips. Considered a hungry competitor who could effortlessly pull out full-flay counter melons over the pyramid, his future on the circuit seemed assured. Then came the 1998 Tampa Am. He was tearing up the course with backside 360 boardslides and switch 180 grinds to revert. But he took a digger while doing nollie crooks on the flat bar and smacked his head on the rail.

    Lying there, uncharacteristically motionless, Timmy had a demented epiphany. He was no longer Timmy Jenkins. He was Half Pipe. He was no longer interested in skateboarding competitions. He must destroy Shopping Carts. He stood up, grabbed his board and left the arena. The skateboarding circuit’s loss, the supermarket world’s nightmare.

    Since that fateful day Half Pipe has been making a name for himself in all the wrong places. Now he can be seen in market lots doing backside noseblunts off of Carts he has destroyed with his favorite metal pipe. The speed and agility he honed for a wholesome career in sports are now put to use taking out Carts by the dozen. By the time market security arrives all they hear is the distant sound of his wheels carrying him away.

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    Half Pipe sizes up his approach. He focuses so that he can get in the "zone" before carrying out an abuse event. To the unobservant shoppers in the lot he is just another skateboarder.

    Half Pipe sizes up his approach. He focuses so that he can get in the "zone" before carrying out an abuse event. To the unobservant shoppers in the lot he is just another skateboarder.

     

    He begins his approach, pipe raised. He is in his standard ready pose — Crouching Cougar. From this position he can create maximum damage on the first strike.

    He begins his approach, pipe raised. He is in his standard ready pose — Crouching Cougar. From this position he can create maximum damage on the first strike.

     

    Half Pipe often adds flare to his abuse events. Here he is doing a reverse ollie while striking the Cart. It is as if he considers this an Olympic event, and he is going for tens in both the artisitic and technical categories.

    Half Pipe often adds flare to his abuse events. Here he is doing a reverse ollie while striking the Cart. It is as if he considers this an Olympic event, and he is going for tens in both the artisitic and technical categories.

     

    If he has time to spare Half Pipe will sometimes dismount the board so he can get some extra traction while striking the Cart.

    If he has time to spare Half Pipe will sometimes dismount the board so he can get some extra traction while striking the Cart.

     

    Closeup on terror. Half Pipe attacks freely and has yet to be caught. His expression reveals neither a hint of compassion nor a whisper of concern.

    Closeup on terror. Half Pipe attacks freely and has yet to be caught. His expression reveals neither a hint of compassion nor a whisper of concern.

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