Incident Report #8675309JN
In Freeport, Michigan a Shopping Cart has been placed against a Poison Oak pole.
DETAIL: This is one of the more devious abuses we have documented. This cart was deliberately placed against a Poison Oak pole. It is feared the Poison Oak may have spread from the pole to the Cart, foiling the most concerted rescue. To make matters worse, trees in the area have been giving rashes to people attempting to get near the Cart.
PROFILE: The type of person who is capable of such an act is usually a person we never suspect. Think of someone on your block, imagine yourself with a news team on your lawn and you’re saying, “He was such a quiet neighbor”. Seem possible? That’s probably who we are after.