When the Apartment Therapy website gives us a tour of Peter’s apartment we see the usual I’m a designer look at my designerery apartment touches – the jigsaw table and the ironic 80′s tv show artwork. We also see a Frankenhipster nightmare of shopping cart mutilation and abuse. We hope Pete the designer guy learns to pair his aesthetic with decency towards the noble shopping cart.

cart-bike

It is a half-breed, a combination of bicycle and shopping cart designed for… actually, we’re not sure. But it certainly does look special. Jefferson Scanlon of Ohio spent eight years developing this prototype bike-cart. High marks on storage capacity, low marks on turning ratio and stealth.

“I came down for a Santa Rosa elongated style toilet (with a new lower price of $308)”, noted local resident Norman Shumway, ”You can imagine my surprise when there was a man in the parking lot using that exact same model to bash a shopping cart!”

Shopper X announced his retirement in San Francisco in 2001. This was followed by the retirement of his compatriot Ali Wawa and a sabbatical by Cherry Picker. Thus began the golden era of shopping cart safety on the west coast. Now Shopper X has announced a cross-country tour in support of his bid to unseat Kaiser Sousa from the number two spot on the top ten list. Scouts have increasingly predicted a move down the ranks for Mr. Sousa as a result of recent complacency.